Some of you may have seen my mum’s comment on our post about Kochi. She asked; 

“Hey, a curious question. India always seems to be so divisive - it’s like people love it or hate it. Where do you both sit on that fence? Your posts are always so positive I get the feeling that you’re enjoying it, but is that the case? So many people seem to have horror stories about travelling in India, but that totally doesn’t seem like your experience at all.”

I started drafting a response in an auto across town yesterday (we’re in Bangalore at the moment, so across town can easily mean 30 minutes), and I handed my draft to Josh to read. It took him a good five minutes to get through and I realized this could easily be a blog post of its own. After nearly a month in the country, I was interested in memorializing my thoughts on this as well, to reflect on if and how this has changed by the end of our time in this country. 

It’s a question that I have been thinking about a lot. I too have heard a lot of contrasting views of peoples experiences in this country. So far, we absolutely love it here. It’s also important to say that we have only been in the south so far. India is so diverse and I don’t want to come across like I’m commenting on the whole country based on the three states we have visited. As with any trip, there have been highs and lows, but to answer mums questions I want to touch on five main points that I think are essential to enjoying your time here. 

At this point, India is my favourite country I have ever visited purely because of the diversity. India has 28 states and eight union territories, speaks 20,000 dialects of 120 different languages, and is home to a wide range of different religions. We have visited Tamil Nadu, Kerala and Karnataka, and the experiences in each could have been totally different countries. I’ve always enjoyed places that have a lot of chaotic energy and are generally busy and buzzy, so it totally scratches that itch for me. I also love that amongst the chaos there are so many beautiful, peaceful places to be found. In general India seems to toe an interesting line between deep spirituality and a real hustle culture, and seeing these play out in real time is fascinating. Haggling hard with a tour guide for five minutes to then have him explain the ancient rituals of Hinduism and their role in modern India is a fascinating experience. People could find this duality challenging, but I feel like I can thrive in that space between. There’s no and/or here, it's always both. What a treat. Embracing diversity here is a truly rewarding experience. 

In terms of travel style, in my opinion you can’t be too passive here or you’ll get caught up in shit tours, scams, boring western food and average accommodation. You have to do some thoughtful planning. India seems to reward those who seek out interesting places, put some work into their plans and aren’t afraid to just try things. The best experiences we’ve had are when we have planned a day and been quite specific about what we want to see and do. Of course we have allowed for spontaneity, but I don’t think it’s most effective here to just roam neighbourgoods waiting for magical experiences to fall upon you, or show up at the airport and see where the wind takes you. 

I think it’s also important to talk about expectations (the destroyer of all joy as the Buddhists would say). There are people who come to places like India on a two star budget, and want to have a five star experience. Yes, when you’re spending in Dollars or Euros your money is going to go a lot further, but only spending $20 a day is going to get you gross rooms, unhygienic food and not many experiences.This would be the same in any country. Close your eyes and picture that budget motel in your home town that you couldn’t be paid to stay at. Now imagine if an international traveler was staying there and complaining to you that the service in your country wasn’t good. Bizzare, right?  I saw a Tik Tok the other day that said ‘come and travel India with the same budget you travel Europe with and I guarantee you won’t end up overwhelmed, sick and burnt out’. For us, we are backpacking and on a budget, and this means we aren’t expecting to stay in a room with a butler and room service! We’ve managed our expectations, and don’t expect that. I think some people come in with the idea of a place being “cheap” and then are surprised when they get what they pay for. Let’s remember that prior to being invaded and brutally extorted by the British, India was one of the richest countries in the world, contributing 25% of the world's GDP. This country knows how to do luxury, but yes you will have to pay for it. Tik tok and Instagram doesn’t help with this, expectations vs reality get seriously mixed up and people seek out the aesthetics as opposed to the experience. This is late stage capitalism, you will get what you pay for. That doesn’t mean it's bad, it just means it’s a (delicious) street dosa and filter coffee, not served on a silver platter in a palace. 

Josh has seen me get excruciatingly angry at travel vloggers who show up on my Instagram feed throwing criticism at this country. You need to park your cristsism and come in with an open mind to truly appreciate what this country has to offer. Seeing vloggers shoving their cameras in people's faces and asking why there are flies on the street food stall, or cosplaying throwing their rubbish out of the auto to make a point about the pollution here makes me feel sick. I strongly believe that as a visitor, it is not your place to comment or critique this publically. Yes, of course Josh and I have noticed the rubbish - it can be confronting and it’s really overwhelming. But I don't think it's our place to publically critique that. In New Zealand, 25% of our ‘recycling’ gets shipped to landfills in Indonesia and Malaysia. We have the exact same problem, we just hide it better. People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. It’s the same with child labour VS. school shootings, or scams VS. health insurance or corruption VS. oh wait, corruption. None of these things are good!! But there are bad things happening everywhere, and I think that we have a tendency to be harsher in our judgments here, and I don’t think it’s our place to do so. Stop, listen, observe and focus on yourself. Try and have a helpful instead of a harmful impact on the communities and environments you have the privilege of visiting. 

And finally, he tangata. It is people. So far we have had the most incredible interactions with the people we have met here. Generally, the people of India are friendly, interested in where we are from and what we do, and they want to share their country, culture, language and food with us. There are at times language barriers, but what you can achieve through google translate and body language is amazing. For this to work, you have to be trusting, open, friendly and patient. You have to put yourself out there, smile at people and try to talk even when it’s hard. Nine out of ten times I am sure it will be worth it. You have to keep your wits about you of course, but to have a special, rewarding experience you must also put in the work to build trust and relationships.

It’s important to remember that this is not our home. Everything is different and it isn’t easy. But we didn’t sign up for easy. We are learning patience, resilience, confidence, open mindedness and tolerance, and having the best time while doing so. So mum, to answer your question, yes, we are loving it. I cried the other day after getting into an argument with a tour guide trying to get us to pay absolutely extortionate prices for a tour I desperately wanted to do, but I also looked up working visas because I’m loving Bangalore so much I feel like I could live here. I have slept in rooms where my sleeping sheet, mosquito net and pillow case feel essential to stay anywhere near clean, but I also drank the best flat white of my life yesterday on a tree lined street in the hip neighbourhood of Indirangager. It’s a game of duality, one that I don’t want to finish playing. 

I hope you enjoyed this rather long train of thought, please do let me know if you agree, disagree or have anything to add or discuss in the comments. The photos on this post are some of my highlights so far in this amazing country. Thank you for reading!